when i was younger, Christianity used to always scare me. My whole family were Christians including my mother, My mother was scary about Christianity though. She would yell things in the bible at me that would scare me to death to the point where I would not sleep for months on end. One specific time my mother told me that when the moon turns red, judgment day will come, and all sinners will be cast to hell. If you dont redeem yourself soon it will be too late. Every night I stared at the moon until sunrise, scared that I was going to hell. I thought I was an awful child, that I didnt deserve gods love, that I was nothing but a piece of shit in gods eyes. I hated myself at a young age which carried on until now. What i did which was wrong was the thought that I could be god. In the bible my mother told me that Jesus would come back to earth so was I Jesus himself? I always knew that in my head I could control whatever I thought, so I made a world with myself as god. I punished anybody who disobeyed me or ruined me in my eyes. I would make them feel death in the most worst ways possible. I would always feel ashamed of myself afterwards though. rightfully so.