I have lost everything. my dreams of becoming a medical doctor are over. Everything Ive ever needed is gone.
I just wished I could have become something great. Something everyone can love. I could of saved one from their illness, I could of save everyone,
but Im just a lifeless vegetable all the time. I cant do anything else but think and dream. I have to think about my story, I have to live in that dream. I cant live without dreaming. They are the only things that understand my feelings. I know theyre not real but it makes me feel better thinking about them who understand how I feel. Since nobody else will listen to me, I will talk only to them.
I love to dream about living the life I want to live in. I love to dream about fun activities to do. I love to dream about me having fun, or doing things I would not be able to do on this earth. I love to dream about finding someone who really loves and cares about me, and I would do the same for them.
Although my ideas are odd, And the Characters I have obsessed about since I was young are unhealthy, It makes me feel good about thinking about them. I know im stupid for being obsessed with a character from a fucking teen show. But I cant get them out of my head. I wish they were my charecter to make decisions on how they act, How they dress and how they talk. I want them to be my character and I could choose what they do.
So, Ill become them.
but, at the same time i dont want to become them. i want to be my own person and think for myself. I dont want to think of it anymore. I dont want to be like this anymore. Ive turned into a complete creep. I dont want to deal with this anymore. So I must go. I dont want to say goodbye to anyone, nobody will really listen to my farewells. So ill go out in a way to make others finally see me. I will be noticed and maybe cared for again. Even if Im not cared for In the end. My face will be forever stuck in their memory. They will remember me forever in their minds. I will never be forgotten ever again-----------------------------------------------------------------------TMRA
